Bronchitis: FAQs

Q: Is it a good idea to go to work when you have bronchitis?

A: No, decidedly not. It is a far better idea to stay home in your jammies, reading and posting to blogs all day. Especially when you are a speech therapist and need your voice to work. You’d better just lay off the talking.

Q: Is it acceptable to go to the M. Ward/Norah Jones show when you have bronchitis and aren’t going to work the next day?

A: Most definitely. Especially if it’s at the gorgeous Chicago Theater and you’ve already missed a Wilco and a Lyle Lovett show in the last 8 months due to your children’s illnesses. After all, this is just a Mommy illness!

However, a few things must be kept in mind:

a) try not to tip off those around you that you are actually about to cough up a lung – hold your disgusting cough off until the applause period between each song;

b) although you have to drink water non-stop to keep from coughing, bear in mind that you will not want to leave the show to use the restroom except between sets – this is likely to result in maximum discomfort by the time the encore rolls around;

c) pretend that your cough drops are something less pungent – perhaps an after-dinner mint! – and be confident that those around you will find your devil-may-care attitude contagious.

Q: Is it admissible to pick your mother up at the airport when you have bronchitis?

A: Yes, but keep in mind that you will talk to her the whole way home in the car, because how can you not? She’s your mom. This may set your voice back just a tad.

Q: At what point should you take yourself to the doctor, exactly?

A: This last one is tricky due to the fact that I’m not really about grossing out my readers. Let’s just say that when things get Super Nasty (official medical term) in your lungs, it might be time to throw in the towel and get thee to some antibiotics.

Q: Should you go ahead and take your son to his Wiggleworms music class when you have bronchitis, haven’t been going to work all week, and can’t sing?

A: Absolutely. So what if you’re the only one in your pair who was going to sing to begin with? You want your mom to see your son’s cute music class, right? Right. Just be warned: when he vomits copiously all over himself in the backseat on the way there, forcing you to turn the car around and go home anyway, expect that the decision may start to feel a little foolish.

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5 responses to “Bronchitis: FAQs

  1. Christopher

    Sounds like a great few days! I hope you and your poor lungs (and your poor son!) feel better soon, and that when you-all do, that you start taking FAQ questions from the audience! I have several subjects I’d like to see addressed…

  2. I am all over taking FAQ’s from the audience! Heck, it’s another sick day! Entertain me: quick!

  3. Q: How many coughing, sleepless nights should one endure before going back to the doctor for something loaded with codeine?

    Q: How can one’s husband/spouse/partner help in such circumstances?

    Q: What are the chances that you’ll be better before I have to leave town, AGAIN, on business?

  4. In response to the above:

    A: Umm, two? I’ll call her right now.

    A: Pizza. Lots of Pizza. Giordano’s to be exact.

    A: Very, very…pretty…semi-good. But the chance that it won’t be a big deal because my mom is here with us: huge!

  5. Jordan, you are my role model. Rock on.

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