What a Buzz

I’m a pretty nice wife. Really, I am. I think I’m about as un-bossy as they come, but I guess we’ll let Matt be the final judge on that one. I don’t tell Matt what to wear or not to wear, when to shave, or how to wear his hair. So today, when Matt again brought up his desire to give Baxter a buzz cut with his clippers, I didn’t go all Bossy Wife on him – you know, the old, “Don’t you dare get those things anywhere near my son’s head!!” After all, he’s his son, too. I don’t understand this desire to give one’s young son a buzz cut any more than I understand wanting to watch football, but I am pretty sure the two are related. No, instead, I looked at my son’s lovely hair and said, feebly, “It’ll look so awful when it grows back in.”

As I noted over the weekend, the child was long overdue for a haircut. The kids’ place we usually go closed down and the one we’d been to before that no longer has the only stylist who did anything decent to their hair. So by today he was begging for a haircut. He looked like this:


(In hindsight, it looks really sweet. Who cares if it was getting caught in his eyelashes?)

So his Daddy got out the clippers and started cutting. I asked under my breath, “You don’t know what the hell you’re doing, do you?” “Nope!” he said.

I left.

When I came back, Baxter looked like this:

And Lyle began to systematically unload the hamper onto Matt’s feet like this:

which was just one action in a long string of naughtiness tonight, prompting me to take him out of the room and read Where the Wild Things Are for the first (and second and third times) to him.

When I dared return, Matt was at this stage:


And, finally, voila:

So, tell me, which documentary do you think best suits Baxter’s new haircut? Cast your vote today!

a) Eddie Munster: The Boy Beneath the Eyebrows
b) Never Too Young: On Drafting Our Little Boys
c) Aw, Gee, Mom! 50’s Values for a New Millennium

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12 responses to “What a Buzz

  1. I vote for:

    d) There’s a school for that?!? The world of unlicensed cosmetology

    And, yes folks, it will look bad as it grows out, but he’s awfully proud of it right now.

  2. Christopher Tassava

    e) Freaking awesome. Low maintenance, sleek, saves money on shampoo, easy to wear with hats. Trim it back in a month and you’re most of the way to Labor Day.

  3. o.b. lookout

    F) Buzzed: How Beester Became an even Bigger Bird Beckoner

  4. I can’t think of ANYTHING funnier to say, but wanted you to know that letter b made me snort with laughter outloud at my desk. Thank goodness my cubemate was gone!

  5. Actually the first thought I had was that he looks about ten years old! (Sigh, sniff….) And he looks so much like Matt, too–more than ever. Besides–he’s adorable no matter how long or short his hair is.

    We have 2 chain/cheap hair-cutting places in our small town, only 1 of which I dare go to since the other wreaked havoc on Julia’s hair awhile back. But they’re both those walk-in places where you get whomever’s on duty. Last time, a week or so ago, Julia got the best haircut she’s ever had–a totally sweet undercut-in-the-back ear-length bob with something funky done to the hair on her crown to keep the various layers from falling out of part and into her face every two seconds. But what are the chances I get that same woman next time I bring her in?

    No, I’m not going to buzz cut Julia’s hair! But I relate to your frustration because her hair grows mega fast and it seems like it’s always in her eyes.

  6. G). Baxter Gordon. Olympic Gold Medalist, Swimming.

  7. Charlotte Gordon

    Hai(r)ku(t) Haiku:

    If Dad’s believe it’s something they can do,

    No lack of training will deter ambition’s siren song.

    The little guy looks handsome nonetheless!

    Oma

  8. Hair is over-valued.

    He’s really cute……

  9. beataandken

    He does look like 10 year old!
    Cute

  10. Oh, one more thing. I forgot to add how I actually am a bossy wife, and if it had been me, I TOTALLY would have gone all, “Over my dead body!” on him, and all that stuff. And I never would have thought to myself, “It’s his kid too.” Because I am not nice that way. So, you should also pat yourself on the back big-time for being a better woman than I.

  11. Christopher Tassava

    Jordan, be sure to actually do as Shannon says; she is quite bossy in that way. After you finish patting yourself on the back, though, please make sure her comment is archived for all time so that I can refer to it as needed in the future.

    (Also, Baxter still looks great. When’s Lyle getting the trim to match?)

  12. Let me just say for the record that Lyle will NOT be getting a matching “do”, but thanks ANYWAY, Christopher!! Of course, this is only because he doesn’t want it, not because I am in any way freaked out about the very notion of my sweet little toddler with a BUZZ CUT!!!

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