Things have been altogether too quiet on The Teacher front. Oh, you remember her, don’t you, from previous scenes such as “Totally Freaking Me Out“, “Totally Pissing Me Off“, and – a favorite of Wonderwheel readers everywhere – “Totally Forgetting Baxter’s Birthday Party“?
Yes, that one.
Well, I’ve got another good one for you today. Buckle your seat belts…
It’s pick-up time. The Teacher asks, “Which way are you guys walking?”
Confused, I point to the east where my car is parked.
“Okay, you boys run ahead,” she says to Baxter and his friend, Carpool Buddy, essentially sending them unsupervised into a big crowd that is heading towards a busy parking lot exit.
Then she begins very seriously with, “Most of the other kids…” No, she decides this is not how to start, so we pretend she didn’t say that. She starts again. “Baxter is a VERY sweet and good student… ” and at this point she grabs my arm – “now, don’t think there’s going to be a ‘but‘ here, because there isn’t! There’s no ‘but‘ in this sentence! I promise!”
Now I’m really confused. I was quite positive that I heard a ‘but’ coming and was very, very interested to hear what it would be this time. Because if there’s no ‘but’, what could possibly come next? “…and so I’ve nominated him for a very special award that only goes to the sweet and smart kids and I didn’t want him to know about it”? That was all I could come up with in the split second before she opened that truly amazing mouth of hers again.
So she goes on. And you won’t even believe what she said.
“He is a very sweet and good student…BUT…”
And then she says lightly, as if surprised, “Oh, well, I guess there was a ‘but’ in that sentence, after all!”
Oh. my. God.
What. a. nut.
(And, I’d just like to add for your continued amazement that the big ole “but” was because today when she asked him not to read during writing time – he was finished with his writing work – he cried, and she didn’t know why. And apparently he did this once before, but it was a long time ago. And so she wanted us to work “as a team” to get to the bottom of this. Which was not difficult because he immediately ‘fessed up to me that he was really embarrassed that he was called out for doing something he shouldn’t be doing and didn’t realize it wasn’t okay. Personally, I’d reserve that kind of admonishment for, I don’t know, breaking classroom crayons when bored, rather than reading a book at one’s literacy magnet school. Maybe that’s just me.)