I am happy to report that I was able to forego the pricier hotel room here in Springfield, Massachusetts, because the person who had reserved the guest room at my grandparents’ retirement housing complex bailed at the last minute.
The guest room is cheaper and actually far nicer than most hotel rooms, certainly better than the one I was going to have at the Clarion in West Springfield. It also allows me to be just moments away from my grandmother, which sounds good to you because you haven’t made breakfast with her at 7:30 in the morning yet.
Although my grandparents live in the Independent Living building here, the guest suite is in the Assisted Living building. Ooooh, yeah! This room has the tremendous benefit of free breakfast and dinner in the dining room, which I have so far managed to avoid except for the fact that my grandmother couldn’t resist last night’s special: liver and onions. I kid you not. Thankfully, I was able to order a burger off the regular menu. I did also try to snag a cup of regular coffee yesterday morning because my grandmother’s brew of decaf motor oil was simply not cutting it. Can you say THROBBING HEADACHE at the hospital all day? Let me just say right now: do NOT drink the Assisted Living coffee, do you hear me? It makes the Kool-Aid taste reeeaaal good, Drama Mama.
But you know, I’ll miss this place when I leave on Wednesday. Really, how could I be so lucky as to open my door on a delightful sunny morning and face this on my neighbor’s door?
I mean, goddammit, how could I not have a nice day after that greeting? Isn’t it charming? All those sweet little bees? *Sigh*
Also, I don’t know about you, but I have never before enjoyed the luxury of elevators and automatic doors designed for wheelchair and walker users in my own home. I mean it. I could stub my toe on the way in, plop myself down in the doorway to take off my shoe and sock, inspect the toe, call a doctor, wait for the guy to swim over from England, let the amputation heal, and still have time to enjoy a grande skim honey latte no whip delivered by camel before that door would close on me. Sweet!
Furthermore, where else do you say good-night to your friends at the end of dinner by smiling cheerfully and saying, “God willing, I’ll see you tomorrow!” Nowhere, that’s where. I mean, really, what a lovely constant reminder of one’s mortality.
Okay, okay, I’ll report on the actual news soon. It’s been a very rough few days but we’re all hanging in there – that includes my grandfather, even though he’s pretty sure he’s in an electronics store, what with those TVs hanging on the wall, instead of a hospital, and can’t figure out what he’s doing there. But, hey, let me have a few laughs tonight, will you? I could really use them.