If You Send This Mom an Email

If you send this mom an email early in the morning, she will want to read it.  She will read it because it is from her new employee, whom she has sent to Nowheresville, Wisconsin, for four days of fantastic training, because said new hire might be in need of help.  This mom will stop to read it, even though she is at home, in the process of getting ready for work for the first time in two weeks.

She will discover that the hotel in Nowheresville must fax her a credit card verification form, since the employee doesn’t have this mom’s credit card in her possession.  She will think, “Oh, sh*t, I wonder if the new fax machine at home works?”

This mom will call the hotel and provide her own home number, and then promptly move the phone cord from the home phone to the fax machine.  She will leave the home office, stepping over her suitcase from vacation – not yet unpacked – to dry her hair, apply a bit of makeup, and make her lunch for the day, hoping that when she returns, a fax will be in the tray.

Upon her return, this mom will discover that, to her relief, the new fax machine does receive faxes, because she has meanwhile (while applying make-up and drying her hair) confirmed that the fax machine at work is inoperable via text messages with her colleague.  She will begin to fill out the credit card information on the form.

When she adds the expiration date, she will remember that this particular credit card expired four days ago.  She will recall seeing an envelope from this bank in the 2-week pile of mail that arrived while she was away.  This mom will find the mail pile and dig through it until she finds the correct envelope.  She will return to the faxed form and correct the expiration date, but realize that she has to call the bank from her home telephone to verify the new credit card, or it will be rejected by the hotel.

This mom will pick up the telephone to verify the credit card.  She will rediscover that the fax is still connected to the phone line, and so she cannot call yet.

As she is working this out, the babysitter will ask if she will be leaving by 9am so that the babysitter can park in this mom’s parking space.  It is street cleaning day.  This mom will say, “Sure, I should be gone by then,” knowing it’s a lie and yet still hopeful.

This mom will then attempt to fax the form back to the Nowheresville Hotel, only to find the line busy.  She will leave the machine on redial and head to the kitchen to pour her coffee into a travel mug, send the babysitter out to move her car temporarily into a neighbor’s spot since it is clear that she won’t be gone by 9 AM, and entertain the 3-year old while looking for the new video camera that needs to go to work with her.  She will be extremely grateful that she doesn’t have a client until 10 AM on this particular day.

When this mom returns to the home office, she will find that the fax was sent to the Nowheresville Hotel successfully, and breathe a sigh of relief.  She will call the bank to verify the credit card and then send a brief email to the employee, letting her know that it’s been taken care of, not to worry.

And once she has sat down at her computer, she will notice with a deep sigh that there are over 350 messages in her inbox that need to be dealt with.

And so begins another day as a working mother.

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12 responses to “If You Send This Mom an Email

  1. Well, duh, Jordan! If you’d stop reading emails when you should be working (or getting ready to work?), you woulldn’t have to work late every night for the rest of your life! 😉 LOL

    Ooh, I feel for you, my friend!

  2. Yeah, I’m thinking it’s the email, too. 😉
    Better delete the gmail account. And hand over that iPhone to a neutral party.

  3. That, dear, is hitting the ground running. The best you can hope for from modern vacations is that after the first day back at work, you still have a smidgen of calm left from the time off. I hope that’s the case for you tonight!

  4. That was even exhausting to read!

  5. phew! welcome back, right?

  6. Yes, welcome back is right. Sadly, Christopher, there wasn’t a smidgen of calm felt during those two weeks – quite the opposite, in fact – so that wasn’t a problem this time… ;-(

    And, yes, I agree that access to email at any time can be problematic in terms of making multitasking worse. However, I do always check personal and work email first thing in the morning on my laptop, because that’s how I find out if there are any session cancellations for the day. It would stink to rush to work only to find out once there that my first appointment was canceled. And I’m relieved not to be dealing with the fax stuff tonight at 9 PM, which would have been my next opportunity. It’s just nuts. That’s what it is.

  7. All I can say is, ‘hats off to you.’ I don’t know how you do it.

  8. Ooof. That is coming off vacation with a VENGEANCE. Can you treat yourself to a massage or something, just to take the edge off?

  9. Squab, you know, I was dreaming of a massage by the end of our trip to CA, I really was. Thankfully, I get to be home with the boys tomorrow and on Wednesday I will take some time off in the afternoon for a haircut. And if I can spare the time before leading a meeting that evening, I will shoot for a pedicure, too. I’m hopeful that will help!

  10. I agree with LifeAsIKnowIt – I was exhausted just reading that! I don’t know how you do it, but I know there are many families that are so glad you do! You’ll get back in the groove, you always do. Hope today is a little less complicated.

  11. I used to have a colleague who purposely WOULDN’T check about cancellations before getting to the office, because then if there was one, it was a “found” hour when she could grab a coffee from the Starbucks on the corner and put her feet up at her desk until the second session of the day! Maybe that’s your solution?!

  12. ROFL laughing at a couple comments. And um, like Kristen said…hand over the iPhone. I’ll volunteer for that one! *grin*
    And, today’s crankiness? Blame Christopher…he jinxed you, I swear! LOL

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