Ever wondered what it would be like to have dinner with the Wonderfamily?
No? Then run away! Yes? Well, then, read on, because I am here to share Real Scenes (patent pending) from tonight’s dinner table.
Jordan and Matt talking.
Lyle: Excuse me, Daddy, but do you smell something?
Matt, wary: Yes, I smell these yummy tacos.
Lyle, smirking: No! I wanted to see if you smelled my TOOT!
Matt, admonishing: Lyle, that’s not something we talk about at the table.
Lyle, ever worried about what the elves are seeing, slaps his forehead and says dramatically, OH, NO! I’M DOOMED!
Baxter: May I be excused and then come back for dessert?
Matt: No, we’re going to sit together at the table. This is the only time of the day when all four of us are together and can talk.
Baxter, grumpy: But I’d rather go look at my new book order book than just sit here.
Jordan, irritated: Well, there are things I’d rather do, too, but we’re staying here!
…and then realizes that Matt has simultaneously said, Well, I’d really like to spend time with my family.
Jordan, mortified, mutters: Right. That’s what I meant.