Smell My Toot (and Other Dinnertime Stories)

Ever wondered what it would be like to have dinner with the Wonderfamily?  No?  Then run away!  Yes?  Well, then, read on, because I am here to share Real Scenes (patent pending) from tonight’s dinner table.

Jordan and Matt talking.

Lyle: Excuse me, Daddy, but do you smell something?

Matt, wary: Yes, I smell these yummy tacos.

Lyle, smirking: No!  I wanted to see if you smelled my TOOT!

Matt, admonishing: Lyle, that’s not something we talk about at the table.

Lyle, ever worried about what the elves are seeing, slaps his forehead and says dramatically, OH, NO!  I’M DOOMED!

 *****

Baxter: May I be excused and then come back for dessert?

Matt: No, we’re going to sit together at the table.  This is the only time of the day when all four of us are together and can talk.

Baxter, grumpy:  But I’d rather go look at my new book order book than just sit here.

Jordan, irritated:  Well, there are things I’d rather do, too, but we’re staying here! 

…and then realizes that Matt has simultaneously said, Well, I’d really like to spend time with my family.

Jordan, mortified, mutters:  Right.  That’s what I meant.

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7 responses to “Smell My Toot (and Other Dinnertime Stories)

  1. ROFLMAO! You were so busted!

  2. Yup, busted! Love the ‘doomed!’ bit. At least dinnertime is fun w/ a side of boring. 😉 C would so rather be reading a book, too!

  3. Hee hee! That is too funny. There is something about “toot” humor that is just SO THRILLING to young boys. What is that about??

  4. Lyle needs to be in my Drama class.

  5. Yes, drama mama, he sure does. I cannot wait to get him in a drama class – my intuition is that the stage is exactly where he belongs. He’s just got that temperament and sense of style!

  6. Kia (Good Enough Mama)

    Hahahaha! What’s funny to me is that he used his manners when he asked his dad if he smelled something. “Excuse me daddy, but do you smell something?” HAHAHA!

    I also have a son who thinks he should be excused and then allowed back to the table for dessert. 😉

  7. Too funny.
    We made my daughter stay at the table last night while my son finished his dinner (the rest of us were done). My son savored it by eating very slowly. Drove my daughter nuts.

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