And They Weren’t Even Cute

The kids and I killed 20 minutes at Starbucks in Andersonville this afternoon while we waited for a new lens to be fitted to Baxter’s glasses.  I got a coffee and let them split a piece of coffee cake as a treat.  They started to beg for expensive apple juice, chocolate milk, and Odwalla smoothies, and I kindly told them that they could get a cup of water with a lid if they were thirsty.

You’d have thought the world was coming to an end.

“But the water here tastes like the ground!  It tastes like poop!” whined Lyle, not two minutes after yelling at Baxter for saying they’d ever been there before.

I suggested that if they didn’t like the Starbucks tap water they could wait and have the rest of their water bottles from the carpool bin when we got back to the car, which was awfully nice of me, don’t you think?

“Well, then, fine!  I’m going to starve to death right here!!” Baxter insisted, glaring at me. If he wasn’t acting so obnoxious, this would’ve been funny, given the fact that he’d just scarfed down half of a piece of coffee cake.

This went on and on.  And on. And on some more, until if one more person said the word “apple juice” to me, whether I knew them or not, I’d have knocked them senseless.  (I mean, seriously.  Click on those pictures up there to see how bad it was.)  When we took our cranky glum whining selves back to the eyeglass store, an older mom smiled ruefully at me and said, “Ah, motherhood with little kids.  I remember those days really well and they were a lot like that.”  “Is there anything you miss about these days?” I asked, hopefully.  She thought about it way too long and then said, “Well, they were cute when they were little, they had that going for them.”

Ouch.

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11 responses to “And They Weren’t Even Cute

  1. ha! baxter biting the napkin is the winner. what a miserable moment they survived. : )

  2. Say it ain’t so! I’ve been hoping that once my kids both were out of the thunderous threes we could *enjoy* outings with them. When does that happen?

    Those pictures are truly awesome, though.

  3. Oh, how could you be such a mean, awful, rotten mother?? And *how* could you even take those pictures without laughing yourself silly!? The one of Lyle…OMG!

    Don’t worry, though. They ARE cute. Just not when they’re acting that way. 😉

  4. I might be crabby too if you made me drink POOP WATER – seriously, is that legal? (No seriously seriously, I think you are amazing…)

  5. I have to say your comments brightened my spirits tonight, everyone, and *now* when I look at those pictures I can laugh myself silly, even though at the time my blood was boiling. The true consequence for them was that I informed them at dinner that I was really worn out from all the scenes they had this afternoon (I was later condemned for suggesting that Baxter give his new glasses lens more than FIVE MINUTES to adjust before deciding they were ALL WRONG), and that I would be reading a book in a coffee shop tonight while Daddy put them to bed without me. Big Tears, people. Perhaps next time they’ll drink the poop water?

  6. Oh, and SJ? That’s no napkin, it’s the drink collar thingy he’s biting in frustration. NICE.

  7. My wife says that being cute is a survival trait. Otherwise, you’d kill ’em.

  8. You have totally described many of my outings with my oldest. And my youngest is getting that way too. Seriously, thank goodness for the middle one, because he doesn’t whine. (There ARE advantages to autism.) And I agree that if kids weren’t cute, we’d probably murder them.

    Sister, you are not alone.

  9. Oh, but the were VERY cute! The pouty face is the best!!!

  10. oy. tell me there’s more to miss than that!!!

  11. sheshoshanorii

    Sorry, still cute!

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